Blast Through The Past

Yikes! This photo is definitely cringe-worthy. I believe I was in fifth grade when I had taken this photo/selfie. The whole point of this post is to show you all how I went from being self-conscious to confident.

Yes, I still have flaws and I still have things that I don't tell anyone. I still get self-conscious at moments, but for the most part, I am pretty happy with who I am.

This was my 7th-grade yearbook photo and I hated it! I mean, look at those eyebrows! I during most of my life, had been really self-conscious and even though I thought I looked okay, I didn't feel like I did and I didn't feel okay in general.

I feel like confidence is a major aspect that anyone should have in their life. I just wish I had realized that sooner.

My family and I had taken a week off for Labor Day and we went to California. I am not sure If I have ever mentioned it, but I had stopped wearing shorts for about 7 years. I was super insecure about my body and people used to ask me if I was anorexic and they would make other mean comments about my weight, which eventually led to self-loathing and a mild depression, which I never told anyone, fearing they would think I was overreacting.

This photo is of me, my sister and my two brothers. They are all like 4 or more years older than me which made it really uncomfortable for me to try and relate to them. They had all gone through these life changes and I was still here, doing nothing.

If you have brothers and sisters that are way older than you, do you get me?

It was a tough time for me. But then I plucked my eyebrows and I was introduced to YouTube. I began to get really into fashion and beauty bloggers, who eventually helped me start my way to inventing myself. It changed my life.

I loved bows and One Direction and MAKEUP. I really liked makeup. I liked trying new things. I still wasn't fully comfortable with myself, though. I still had major insecurities. And then I started messing around with my look. I would literally spend hours in front of my mirror, playing with my hair and makeup and clothes. It was just good to reinvent and reinvent and reinvent.

Eventually, I began to like myself. I began to express myself.

 I began to smile and laugh.

I began to really understand who I am and who I want to be.

So I started a blog. I wanted to share things  with the world in a way that I couldn't do it where I was. I wanted other people to read it and to relate to me. I wanted to feel good.
And then I realized that I didn't  need the whole world to read about me. I just wanted to write about me. I wanted to become so self involved, but in a good way. Right now, I just want people to know that it is perfectly okay to love yourself. And to love yourself first.

I love doing what I do. I love to dress up and to go to school and to hear every one's opinions, good or bad. I just love doing me. Being me. Expressing me. And that is okay.

I know that loving who I am and doing what I want to do is perfectly okay and is in fact, unexpected, but the way to live. Love yourself. Live for yourself. Grow yourself.

Much Love

Angelina